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Home › Quotables

Quotables

““So in America you guys don’t say take a chill pill?””
— Hiroki Muraoka
“Dude, Men’s Journal is actually kinda dope though”
— John Mehring
“I was watching Ted Danson highlights, you know the guy from Becker?”
— John Baragwanath
“I hate having washed hair, I feel like a duckling”
— Luke Malaney
“Having dogs is weird”
— Dustin Eggeling
“Figgy is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me”
— Kevin Coakley
“You have to jeopardize the integrity of it”
— James Sayres
“(as 99 Red Ballons comes on) “I accidentally broke a girls nose to this song.””
— Jovi Bathemess
“You play poker like you skate, kind of aggressive and a little out of control.”
— Steve Brandi to Luke Malaney
“I told you I went to jail once in a Rasputin shirt, right?”
— John Baragwanath
“How do crust punks know that their dogs are fans of the Dead Kennedy’s? Or that they like to wear vests?”
— Taylor Nawrocki
“I want to own a pair of Birkenstocks”
— John Baragwanth
“Ketchup is, like, going out of style”
— Brian Powderly
“Paul Rudd bought me a shrimp burrito”
— John Baragwanath
“If I think about it, heelies are probably what got me into skating.”
— John Baragwanath
“Surfing is a BILLION dollar industry”
— John Baragwanath
“Do people still play that Poke Mon shit?”
— Luke Malaney
“Do you follow Tyrone Olson?”
— Danny Renaud
“Yo, I got a sick new cat massage video for you”
— John Baragwanath
“I wish I had cankles”
— Steve Brandi
“I like reggae music because It’s the easiest music for me to dance to.”
— John Baragwanath
“I’ve only been reading Hemingway these past two months”
— John Baragwanath
“I think that bum over there is Gonz”
— Soy Panday
“Why do they call it the secret service if it’s not a secret any more?”
— John Baragwanath
“Oasis is for men.”
— Olly Todd
“I love taking photos of people cleaning up their dog’s shit”
— Luke Malaney
“Some of the things kids are doing these days is actually outrageous....I just wish they would keep their shirts on”
— Ricky Oyola
“You piss out of your fly? That’s old school”
— John Baragwanath
“Deep down, I’m secretly a hippie.”
— Ricky Oyola
“Static IV was my Boys in The Hood”
— Brendan Carroll
“So, I was watching a seal clubbing video...”
— Aaron Herrington
“I’d rather skate black wheels than yellow wheels.”
— Ricky Oyola
“Me and Jimmy Buffet have the same dentist”
— John Baragwanath
“So, a few days ago I was brewing beer in my back yard...”
— Rich Adler
“Funny thing about Napoleon complex is that Napoleon wasn’t actually that short”
— John Baragwanath
“He tried to cool-guy our brunch”
— Pat Stiener
“Enough of this fucking Tom-Foolery”
— Ricky Oyola
“I don’t really buy that Jared dude lost all that weight just eating Subway”
— Steve Brandi
“Before you brush your teeth, can I wash my socks in the sink?”
— Steve Brandi
“I’d rather skate black wheels than yellow wheels”
— Ricky Oyola
“I love browsing through the CVS electronics section, man!”
— Marshall Nicholson
“Guys, what do you think Obama’s doing right now”
— John Baragwanath
“I have to be a scientist right now. My fish are dropping dead so I have to do some chemistry”
— Jahmal Williams
“Herbalife is dope!”
— John Baragwanath
“Trump’s wife is hot... Ted’s not so much”
— Pontus Alv
“Were unemployed working men”
— Jimmy Lannon
“I just saw a NYC counter terrorism cop vaping”
— Joe Bressler
“I’m well versed in Grease.”
— Ricky Oyola
“I’m trying to fake-skate too”
— Jimmy Lannon
“She’s really cute I just wish she didn’t skate”
— Brendan Carroll
“I almost made the worst decision and brought my kids to Bonaroo last year”
— Ricky Oyola
“I heard Old Navy has good stuff now. Like stuff that fits!”
— Pat Stiener
“You asked me if I COULD dance. I said ‘no’. You didn’t ask me if I WOULD dance.”
— Ricky Oyola
“There really should be more sporks out there in the world.”
— Pat Stiener
“I wanna go roller-skating so bad.”
— Ketih Denley
“Dinosaurs are like the coolest things of all time”
— Patrick Stiener
“I’m thinking about getting into video games”
— Brian Clarke
“I read the reviews on Yelp and apparently their tater-tots are amazing.”
— Pat Stiener
“How come Drake only puts out hits?”
— Brendan Carroll
“I feel like he’s a tailslide 270er”
— Brian Clarke
“I grew up listening to Indigo Girls.”
— Kevin Coakley
“My grandmother knits way better than you.”
— Pat Stiener
“Nobody in New York City is a virgin…..cuz we’re all getting fucked.”
— Quim Cardona
“He’s the illest dude ever….I watched him throw a bike at his ex girlfriend once”
— Brian Clarke
“Do you think cause Dustin’s on the bus he makes the bus slower?”
— Joe Bressler about Dustin Eggeling
“I can’t really judge a restaurant until I’ve taken a shit”
— Jake Johnson
“I used to drink a 40 of King Cobra, get halfway and then pour a sparks into it. We called it a ‘Hyper-Vyper’”
— Joe Bressler
“I fell like when people find out I have a bachelor’s degree they don’t believe me.”
— Brian Clarke
“I wanna girlfriend because I get lonely really easily”
— Brian Clarke
“You ever hear the story about Rob Campbell ollieing a dead guy?”
— Joe Bressler
“People say they don’t like it when the girl just lays there. But I do cuz I can do whatever I want.”
— Brian Clarke
“Dolphins are like the most knowin-whats-goin-on animal”
— Kevin Tierney
“The cellar door is like the state bird of New York.”
— Dustin Eggeling
“I feel like archaeology is a dying profession.”
— Brian Clarke
“I did some creepy shit last night”
— Kevin Tierney
“Did I ever tell you I had a dream that I fakie tre-flipped a bar-hop without any shoes on?”
— Brendan Carroll
“Sometimes I wonder who I’m going to marry”
— Brian Clarke
“People only care about you if you’re dead, have money or have gum”
— Peter Sidlaukas
“I stayed over at her house. But she woke up early to go vote”
— Pat Stiener
“I wish you could eat your own hair”
— Jake Johnson
“Today is the day Rasputin was murdered in 1916…......AND it’s a full moon!”
— Joe Dorsi
“Just had apple pie n’ coffee at a diner…..I feel like Deniro in Taxi Driver”
— Quim Cardona
“My new goal in life is to have a nervous breakdown at Street League”
— Billy Rohan
“I think I lost my anti-aging cream.”
— Jack Moran
“All my leg muscles went away because I haven’t skated in so long”
— Kevin Tierney
“I’m the last of the baggy pants”
— Quim Cardona
“Gardening is my only outlet right now”
— Danny Montoya
“I’ve seen that dude fall asleep at the top of a willow tree before”
— Brian Clarke on Luke Mulaney
“I wanna do a Kickstarter campaign to get a new apartment”
— Billy Rohan
“In the suburbs the TV is your city…..here we make things for TV”
— Billy Rohan
“I got two pillows from Family Dollar yesterday…....don’t ever do that.”
— Brendan Carroll
“I think it’s between Gonz and Jimmy Lannon who will figure out how to levitate first”
— Billy Rohan
“I love when no-one calls me, it’s the best feeling ever”
— Quim Cardona
“Hooters actually has really good burgers.”
— Pat Stiener
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About Theories of Atlantis

Theories of Atlantis Distribution has been around for over 12 years. First selling independent skate videos then gradually growing into a skateboard distribution based in NYC. We offer unique brands from across the globe.

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